It’s so weird how time passes. I haven’t written a post the whole time I’ve been at uni, these last three months. It’s strange to remember my expectations and thoughts, and reflect on how things have changed.

I came to write this post, though, to document that this last week of term is turning me into some sort of vegetable. I feel like I’m becoming a different person because I’m so stressed. I’m so stressed because I haven’t done any work. I haven’t done any work because I get distracted and procrastinate, much like I’m doing now. I procrastinate, and then I get more stressed, and it just goes on and on, and I churn out a shit essay.

A woman essaying. It could be me...

I want something amazing to happen. I want something to slap me around the face and say, “THIS is why you need to work your arse off!” I wonder what it could be.

I’ve been wondering today, why am I putting myself through this ‘higher education’? What’s the point? I’m supposed to be growing as a person and learning on a higher level, learning how to learn differently and write better essays and be really good at things, but I just feel like I’m learning how crap I am.

I can’t wait for this week of hell to be over, at which point I am allowed to retreat home and do nothing for Christmas, for a whole month.

There’s just nothing to motivate me to do any work. I know that if I do the work, I’ll be less stressed and more prepared to write essays, and will get everything over and done with faster, but still this isn’t enough motivation for me.

Maybe something will come to me over the holidays. One can only hope.

Merry Christmas, reader. And a Happy New Year (even though New Year is a bogus waste of time).

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